Once I start thinking about the person I am now in comparison to who I used to be, I figure there might not be a big change.
I do still immerse myself into my own world and read all day. I do still get social anxiety when in a new environment. I do still want life to stand still instead of move forward.
That is how I was and still am.
I trap myself in a bubble that doesn’t involve other people.. I don’t really want people around as much because I feel as though they do not understand. I get really emotional and some people get annoyed by that. I want people on my side at all times. I suppose this could be considered a princess complex.
However, I have grown a lot in a short period of time. Just last year , I was studying and reading and considering my life to be a dead end and the only way out is to get my degree. I had no experience with work and my boyfriend was my savior more times than I’d like to admit.
Yet being forced out of that life has made me conscious of reality and life outside of what I had known. I had to go on a job search and especially being as persistent as I am, I got one quite quickly. It was a part time position but it was something. I would say that life outside of my education was all I thought it would be. I got fat. I made debt. I partied a lot. I literally feel as though I have wasted a year of my life.
But have I really? I have experience now. I have a sense of what money actually means and how quick it can be gone. I have tastes another choice.
I have grown.
And honestly, I would never have done this if I had not been forced to pull my head out of the books.