The secret

I have been reading about the secret since the book was given to me by a friend of a friend. Randomly, as though fate had intervined in my life.
I needed it and it appeared.
Granted, I am one of the most cynical and most pessimistic person you could find, hope never leaves my side. I am so afraid of rejection and disappointment that I continually avoid situations where I could lose.
I have been though hell and back. I have felt unwanted and unloved by people who I wanted to love me. I have been homeless and hungry.
Yet here I am. Alive and well. I have a mind worthy of greatness and I have a mother who continues to break herself to lift me up.  I appreciate and I love.

The secret was not just a self help book to me. To me , it was more of something I needed. I needed someone to tell me that my hope is not a lost cause. That it actually means something when you’re fighting for something. It reminded me that doubt is a weed that you plant within yourself and the only way you can stop it from ruining your garden is by removing it completely.  I know life is hard. I am the poster child for Murphy’s law.
I’ve had skin diseases, I’ve been made fun of, I’ve been decieved and ignored and yet here I am.

I am going to…
No I am making a change in my life. Depression has taken me too far down. All the crying and the anxiety attacks that no one ever notices is no longer going to bother me. It will no longer get in the way of what’s ahead of me

I am not asking for a straight path but the right one.
The universe… Or God… Whatever you prefer to call the higher power, it lives within u. Not above u.
The power is in your mind. My mind.
So its time to lift the shovel, fellow pessimists, because doubt has got to go.

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