Stuck in the middle

I have a kept a grudge on this subject for a long time. Being a colored girl in South Africa is not always easy….
We’re in the middle, us colored people, and we have these funny stereotypes stuck onto us at all times.
I’m okay with being the funny stereotype, but its the unfair privilege everyone else gets that upsets me

See, since I was finishing up high school, I was set on studying further. there was no other option for me, I was a student. A constant learner. I needed to feed my mind and to me the only way to get out of this life was to surpass everyone else mentally. And hopefully financially.
I worked hard, for two years, I stayed broke. Living off of my poor mother who had to take out loan after loan to pay for my first year. We lost our house and we were renting out this tiny one. Everything was okay for a year….

But then it all went down. When I applied to study for my third year, I was told I owe money for my second year so I couldn’t register till I paid 25000….ALL THIS IN JANUARY! 
I applied for loans, and I got no answer. Not even a decline. They told me that my mother doesn’t qualify,and then they “lost” my application.
I tried NSFAS and they wanted a divorce decree from my parents who barely even speak. That was a bit much for me

I tried the banks, but seeing as I couldn’t get my marks I couldn’t apply for a student loan from the bank (standard bank generally asks for a copy of your marks. And you only get your marks once you pay for your studies)

I don’t understand. I didnt.
I thought that it would have been easy, you know, for some one who wants to study to be able to. But I am not well off, credit is not in my parents favor and why am I suffering if they made a few mistakes in their life. My credit record is rising, yes but not nearly enough for what I need. I’m only 21 and I’m disadvantaged more than the previously oppressed race is at this moment. I get that they suffered… But they aren’t the only ones.

Its not even about race anymore. Its about passion. Its about consistency . its about hard work

I feel like if you are determined to finish, why should you not be able to get financial assistance. Why is it so hard to even go back to finish your studies?
As the self proclaimed middle child of the races in south Africa, coloreds are usually overlooked until we act up.
I’m just lost and confused as to what they are actually asking of me. Protesting is a waste of time. Saving up takes to long. What we generally need is to have a secure set of financial security institutions that will help students who cannot depend on their parents salaries.
For students like me, who would like nothing else but to go back to class and learn new things
Which is actually all I want.